Hi, It’s Me ~ Fall Blogging Schedule

*peeks head in doorway* *sheepish grin* *whispers*

Hi all. Sorry I’m late.

*steps in* *nervous laugh*

Heeeyy. Yeah, it’s me. I’m here. I’m still alive. I know, I know! I’m sorry!

*scuttles into corner to cry great crocodile tears of apology*

*wipes away tears*

Okay, enough of that. Allow me to reintroduce myself.

Hey all, I’m Autumn. In other words, I’m sleep-deprived, incredibly-blessed, bone-weary, totally-awed, sticky-hot, unbelievably-grateful, tired-of-pests, completely-amazed, tearful-mess, utterly astonished, terrified-wreak, and so honestly humbled at what an amazing, incredible, awe-inspiring, good God I serve.

Farm life is hard. Teenage life is hard. Christian life is hard. Big sister life is hard. Business life is hard. Life is just hard, okay? But honestly, when I sit back and compile a collage of photos to share for y’all, I just sit here in amazement. I don’t always see it in the midst of it, but what an incredible life I live. I have amazing family, awesome friends, adorable dogs, and I get to enjoy God’s incredible creation – every single day!

So please don’t pity me – I love my life. You may not believe it when I’m knee deep in damaged lettuce, mushy strawberries and weeds. When I’m dripping sweat, exhausted, and ready to cry because nothing is going right, there’s so much to do, and I feel ready to give up. But honestly. I have so much to be grateful for. It just that most of the time, I don’t realize how much I take for granted.

This also raises another question that I have been pondering as of late. What if it was all striped away?

Bear with me here…. So often I find my blessings in things – in the sunrises, in the fruit, in the flowers, in the smiles, in the laughter. And that’s not bad! Those are all incredible blessings. But that’s not where my joy should come from. God often sends us these beautiful blessings as a reminder that He loves us and cares for us.

But I have been asking myself – Is it truly possible for me to have joy even without those blessings? With Him, and only HIM? Can I look around at all the damaged lettuce, the mushy strawberries, and weeds – and if that’s all it is, If it all fails right then and we never have beautiful lettuce or quality strawberries again, can I see all that and still be joyful? Because I understand there may be a day when it is all taken away. And if it is, I pray that in that horrible, tragic day, He is indeed my joy.

Even though we’ve had hard days this year, we have been blessed with a bountiful crop. Somedays it’s all junk, some days it’s all good! But if it wasn’t… if it did all fail…

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Then I also find myself asking, “So what does that mean for my life today?”

I was asked a question at a ladies garden party the other day. What do you want to be most true about your life when you look back at this time?

Recently, I’ve felt this emptiness in my soul. I long for something more. For something deeper. I look around and I see so many people living good lives, yet something is missing. Our conversations feel frivolous. We worship and sing our hearts out on stage yet go back to the same old meaningless and negative conversations right after. We speak without lips, yet do we believe in our hearts?

I also look at others and I sense that they have that. And then I look at myself and wonder if I do? And I wonder how I can get that. How can I deepen my relationships?

I don’t want to just drift through life – being just spiritual enough to get by. I may be a teenager in age, but that doesn’t mean I want to be a teenager in action. I long for something more. I’m tired of the shallow.

I want the radical. I want to be completely and totally given to Jesus. Heart, soul and mind. Completely and totally. What if a non-believer could look at my life – at my speech, at my actions, even at my thoughts – would they see Jesus. If they got a 24 hour play by play of all the thought that went through my head – oh boy. I’m terrified of the idea.

I think I’m rambling. Several years from now, when I look back on my life, I don’t want to see wasted, frivolous years. I don’t want to see shallow, mediocre, lukewarm.

I believe there is something more to this life. And I intend to find it. How? Prayer, Bible reading. Seeking Christ with all my heart. I want to grow so close to him that my life is utterly inexplainable apart from Him.

I don’t really have answers… All I know is that I’m searching for something more. Praying for it. And I know it’s a prayer God delights to answer. So, I’ll keep seeking until I get that answer.

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Now for those of you who have stayed after I went down multiple bunny trails and rambled on, thank you!

I would like to be more consistent with my blogging this fall. At least until the end of the year. I’ll be taking another break right after the new year – for at least a month, maybe two. But for the rest of the year, I have some great things planned! So, here’s a peak at my schedule for the coming months. I can’t promise complete consistency, because life. But this is what I’m hoping for and aiming to achieve!

Bursting Through the Darkness Fall Schedule

October

• Floral Fun – Tips on Arranging Flowers
• A Top Ten Tuesday post!
• Things Not Seen by Kristina Hall book review
• A Homewood Christmas Blog Tour (and my review of one of the stories!)

November

• A Tag! (from Katja @ Little Blossoms for Jesus
• I’m Done with School! Great Curriculum from My Homeschool Years
• Another Guest Post by Laureen Murphee!!
• Final Top Ten Tuesday for the year

December

• A Peak into the Filming of a Christmas Movie
• One In A Galaxy by Angie Thompson review
• A Christmas Post (maybe several if I feel up to it)
• The Year 2022

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So long from me and my puppy! 😁

-Auttie

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